The Onion, America's Finest News Source, may loathe you as a reader and despise your existence, but nevertheless, if you are a business leader and web publisher like ourself, we'd be foolish not to take advantage of your potential to make The Onion Store more money. And if, as our affiliate, you make money of your own in the process, our legal counsel informs us there is little in our power we can do to stop you.

For the first time ever, The Onion is seeking select Web publishers, offering them the opportunity to earn commission on Onion Store sales while bringing the paltry joy of Onion products to the mud-daubing, fish-trawling riffraff that visit your Website. All store products qualify, even subscription orders.